End of summer ramblings

The funny colored leaves on the trees around these parts is a sure sign that summer is almost over. It wasn't much of a summer. It started late and ended early.

I plum forgot to celebrate Diez y Seis this month, dang it. What a celebration it could have been, too. I remember when my mom and dad would take us to the celebration in Kyle, Texas, about six miles from our farm. What a fandango! We'd do the ring toss and try to win prizes, listen to the live Mexican Conjunto bands play and eat tacos and other things we either couldn't pronounce or distinguish.

I also skipped out on the Oktoberfest in Mt. Angel this year. I hear there were more people there this year than last - and last year there were too many. I could barely walk down the street without bumping into someone with a sausage on a stick or a greasy bag of onion rings and elephant ears.

I blame this all on the shortness of this summer in Oregon. It threw me off. Next year, I want at least three full months of it, or I'm asking the governor for my money back.

Good to be back in Oregon

Hello folks out there in blogland. I just got back from a vacation in St. John, New Brunswick, Canada. Why go to Canada? My wife's family immigrated there from Ireland during the potato famine of the 1840's and she has a lot of cousins that we've been intending to meet for many years.

I must say. Canada made me homesick for Oregon, just as Oregon makes me homesick for Texas. Dorito Nachos with "fromage?" Wow.

Things were way more expensive there in Canada than they are here in Oregon, just like Oregon is way more expensive than Texas.

Kilometers thew me off to. It's good to be back.

Gracias, Don Pedro's!

I recently received a tip from a fellow Salemite who is from my hometown of San Marcos, Texas. She said that Don Pedro's Mexican restaurant was the closest thing to Tex-Mex that she had found in the area.

My wife and I visited it for lunch on Sunday and I must say, she was right. We got the cheese enchilada plate and the chile relleno plate with chips and salsa. We felt a slight tingle of heat from the salsa...a good sign here in Salem, since most salsas that are served in other Mexican restaurants here resemble chunky tomato juice. It wasn't hot as hades like back at home, but tingly just the same.

The chile relleno's were good. Thank goodness! I was afraid it was going to be like every other chile relleno order I had braved here in Salem - essentially, slimey pepper omelates.

The gravy covering both the enchiladas and the chile rellenos was the right color, but not quite the same taste and texture as true Tex-Mex. Close enough though, so I ain't complainin'.

Chips were decent. A little thick but they had a nice addition of a chili powder dusting on top.

The biggest drawback is the atmosphere. A little redecoration and the addition of some good conhunto music (and unplugging the TV) would do wonders for this great place.

The Tex-Mex Cookbook: A History in Recipes and Photos

With all the sunshine that's been flooding the Willamette Valley over the last few weeks, it's got me dreaming about Texas which has got me dreaming about Tex-Mex food and music.

The Texas Tornados has been on my personal jukebox for days now. I just can't get enough of those guys' music. Nice guys to boot. I've met Augie, Doug and caught Flaco Jimenez playing down at Waterloo Records down in Austin years back for a CD release party.

Back to Tex-Mex food: I found a great Tex-Mex cookbook at Borders Bookstore on Lancaster the other night. It came out in 2006 (where was I?) and it is plum full of great photos, history and more importantly, good Tex-Mex recipes.

Written by Rob Walsh, "The Tex-Mex Cookbook: A History in Recipes and Photos" is super and highly recommend it to all my native Texan friends and Texan wannabe's here in Salem.

Say, when is someone going to put in a Tex-Mex restaurant here in Salem?

Starbucks Shutting Down 6 Texas Stores

Living in the land of corner coffee outlets here in Salem, it's hard to imagine that Starbucks is shutting down stores. Six will shut down in Texas - Brownsville, Laredo, Dallas, Rosenburg and Waco and two eventually in Austin.

Now, when I was living in the Texas motherland, I drank coffee like there was no tomorrow, but sometimes it was just too danged hot outside to work up a hankering for a cup of java. Iced tea usually won out to hot coffee.

Now, living up here in the hinterlands, I drink coffee throughout the day. I am on a permanent caffeine buzz. Oregonians love their coffee like Germans love their beer - lot's of it and all the time.

I've never stopped to count the number of coffee outlets here in Salem, but that would be a nice trivia question. Anyone got the answer?

Thank you. Thank you very much.

I went to a restaurant in Salem the other night. A group of people (four or five) were right behind me. I opened the door and held it open so they could enter first (being the southern gentleman that I am). Guess what? Not a single thank you was uttered from any of their carpetbagging mouths.

This happens a lot around these parts. Is it just Oregon or do other places have the same aggravation?

The Thrillville is Gone.

Just read a story on the Statesman Journal site about Thrillville going down the tubes and representing a, "simpler bygone era." I'm sorry, the place was creepy to us newcomers. It looked old and out of place and to me, it reeked of something that went out of business 30 years ago. Anyway, here's my comment from the article:

"At the risk of being run out of town on a tilt-o-whirl, "Thrillville" gave me the heebie jeebies. It reminded me of old rundown haunts of mine back in Texas like "Snake Farm" and "Wonder Cave." Frankly, I'm not surprised it's gone. If you are going to survive in an ever changing market place, you got to change a little with the times - or maybe just some fresh paint and a good sign. The Oregon Gardens finally wised up and hopefully not too late, when they decided that their entrance needed more pizzazz."

Ace Reid - Cowpokes

Ace Reid was the creator of a cartoon called, "Cowpokes." He was the quintessential Texas cartoonist. Ace was born in 1925 near Amarillo, Texas. Here's a sample of his work:

Update: Texas Governor's Mansion Fire

When Texas Governor Rick Perry found out that a fire had been set at the Texas governor's mansion while he was away in Europe he, "went from heartache to pretty damn mad."

Lordy, you don't want to make the Texas governor mad. When whoever set this fire gets caught (and they will get caught) they'll be lucky not to be tarred and feathered and shipped up to some yankee prison somewhere.

"As long as I've been the governor ... few sights have left a deeper impression on me than the charred remains of this genuine Texas treasure," Mr. Perry said. "I want to know what was working and what wasn't working. I can assure you the hard questions are going to be asked."

Sad Day For a Texan - The Governor's Mansion Burns

Got some terrible news this morning on the internet. The Governor's mansion in Austin, Texas burned this past Sunday. Police suspect arson. Enough of it remains to be restored according to experts.

I've been to the mansion many times over the years. The most memorable being the day my wife and I and business partner met with then-governor George Bush in the library for an interview for my magazine, True Believer.

I pity whoever did this. Texans don't take kindly to their holy places being burned down.

I have returned from the mountains.

My family and I headed for the hills last week. Clear Lake Resort to be exact. Now, let me tell you something. Never ask an Oregonian how much snow to expect when you head up the mountainside.

I asked, and the person on the other end of the phone said, “not much.” Not much? When we arrived at our cabin we were staring 3 to 4 feet of snow in the face. The driveway and roads around the camp were clear, but let me tell you, in Texas, that would have been a heap of snow.

Still, it was beautiful. The people were friendly and except for a raging hailstorm followed by a typhoon, it was relatively peaceful.

If you get a chance, go check out the place. Absolutely beautiful.

Of Refried Beans and Slimey Rellenos

The missus and I decided to dine at the local Mexican Restaurant, “Los Dos Amigos” here in Salem last night. The fridge was empty and I had a hankering for some Mexican food.

First let me explain what Salem Mexican food is not. It is not spicy. It does not even remotely resemble the Tex-Mex food I dined on with drooling lips back when I was living in the Motherland.

The hot sauce is more like spicy V-8 that trickles off your chip and on to your shirt as you try to put it in your mouth as quickly as possible.

The beloved Chile Relleno of my Texas memory is only that. A memory. What I get here in the great Pacific Northwest is a large squishy omelet with a pepper and very little cheese inside.

But you know what the truly sad thing is? It’s all starting to taste normal to me.

At least I am aware that it isn’t normal. At least I’ll be able to return to Texas to visit soon and cleanse my now Oregonian-like palate with a huge plate of greasy refried beans, rice and tamales and real hot sauce.

The memories come flooding back. Remember Herbert’s Taco Hut in San Marcos? The hot sauce was so hot that it burned a hole straight through my plate?

Heck, even Taco Cabana would be a sight for sore eyes right about now!

Rain Drippin' Off The Brim Of My Hat

Well, guess what? The rain is back. Summer sure didn't last real long. Maybe it will be back by the weekend, I don't know. I hope so, 'cause me and the missus are headin' up to mountains for the weekend.

The picture above is one I took after a rain storm a while back.

Brings to mind some old lyrics from a Charley Pride song, way back when...

Rain dripping off the brim of my hat
it sure is cold today
and here I am'a walking down sixty-six
Wish she hadn't done me that way

Sleeping under a table at a road side park
A man could wake up dead
But it sure seems warmer than it did
Sleepin in our king size bed

Chorus
Is anybody goin to San Antone
Or Phoenix Arizona
Anyplace is alright as long as I
Can forget I've ever known her

Wind whipping down the neck of my shirt
Like I aint got nothing on
But I'd rather fight the wind and rain
than what I've been fighting at home

Yonder comes a truck with the US mail
People writing letters back home
Tomorrow she'll probably want me back
But I'll still be just as gone

Chorus
Is anybody goin to San Antone
Or Phoenix Arizona
Anyplace is alright as long as I
Can forget I've ever known her

Anyplace is alright as long as I
forget I've ever known her

whistle to fade

Nature is a comedian

What cruel joke hath nature wrought when it’s 99 degrees in Salem, Oregon and 79 in Austin, Texas?

Is this like one of those Twilight Zone episodes when two worlds are flipped in a herky jerky fashion?

I have been away from my homeland for too long. When 99 degrees feels like it must feel in the center of the sun, then I question my Texan origin.

I grew up without air-conditioning for pete’s sake! Now I’m in Oregon for four years, and I’m whining like a true Oregonian.

Stephen F. Austin, please forgive me!

Welcome to Sunny Oregon!

Ahhh...83 degrees and counting! Blue skies, warm breezes. This isn't really Oregon is it? Couldn't be. But, yes, indeed it is.

This may be my favorite time of the year in the great Pacific Northwest. Warm days, cool nights. Shoot, back in Texas it would be 90 degrees at midnight with 90% humidity. That kind of weather will drive a man mad I tell you.

Well, this Texan is going to take advantage 0f this small window of sun and warmth while the gettin' is good. Lay out on the back deck, sippin' diet Mountain Dew, watching the snow swirl around the top of Mount Hood.

Does it get better than this? I think not.

Happy Mother's Day...Mama.

Well, I hope all my fellow Salemites have a sunny and wonderful weekend. Enjoy that bright orb up there in the sky while you can. We have just a short window of sunshine and warmth before the winter dankness descends on our little valley again next winter.

Oh yeah. And don't forget your mother this weekend on Mother's Day. For those of you lucky enough to be in Texas, go pick her up a bunch of bluebonnets, the state flower of Texas. Meanwhile, I'll be scouting the valley for an Oregon wildflower or two.

Summer Arrives at the Salem Outpost

I am pleased to report that all signs point to summer having finally arrived to the Salem, Oregon outpost after an especially long, wet winter.

Today, the temperature reached 70 degrees with 46% humidity. Now, that would be a brisk winter day in Texas, but here, it's a summer day.

What I wouldn't give for a dip in the Barton Springs swimming hole in Austin or Blue Hole in Wimberley. I guess I shouldn't torture myself with such fantasies.

Falls City has a small waterfalls and accompanying swimming hole I'd like to try out someday. Fall City scares me a little now that the police department has been fired by the locals.

Texas Our Texas

I recently encountered another Texan on a forum who declared, "I can't imagine living anywhere else than Texas."

As a native Texan myself, I remember thinking the same thing, but in fact, I have lived several places other than "God's gift to the earth" and have found it, if nowhere near as glorious, at least tolerable.

This was my reply to her:

The reasons are many why you can't imagine living anywhere else. The number one reason, if you are a native Texan, is that the greatness that is Texas is drilled into your brain from birth and only escalates as you advance from grade to grade in school...

A good Texas school will teach you

1) The Texas State Song ("Texas, Our Texas")
2) The State Bird (Mockingbird)
3) State flower (Bluebonnet)
4) How to dispose of a damaged Texas flag (you don't).
5) How to tell good BBQ brisket from bad (you can).
6) Texas was once its own country
7) That there still is a possiblity that we could secede from the union
etc., etc.,

You will be told the story of the Alamo and the capture of General Lopez De Santa Anna. You will shudder when you recall the battle song that Santa Anna's men played when they attacked: "Deguello" meaning "No Quarter."

You will praise the winter, curse the summer, be awed by a field of bluebonnets, remember fondly your childhood swimming hole, savor every drop of a cold Shiner beer and when in church (every Sunday) you will look towards the heavens (no matter what state you may be living in at the time) and declare with a strong and steady voice,

"Thank you God for making me a Texan!"

Amen.

Salvation in the form of The Sonic comes to Salem

The Sonic "America's Drive-In" landed in Salem. Sweet french toast sticks and chicken fingers!

The Sonic plays a large part in the history of my Texas youth. We would "buzz" the Sonic on many a Friday night. We'd pull up to the speaker and in one voice, a small group of boys would sing, "Here is order, four glasses of water."

I hear that traffic was lined up around the block when it opened here. 90 minute waits.

It just shows the depth of the restaurant misery that the citizens of Salem go through on a daily basis when a hamburger shop can tie up traffic for hours. We are a desperate lot.

Thanks goodness for Sonic. Now, please hurry with that order of onion rings.

Las Vegas Comes To Salem

Good grief! If it wasn't bad enough that I am exiled in one of America's top entertainment wastelands, now they've gone and put up 4 Las Vegas styled billboards.

If you thought Salem was bordering on the other side of ugly, wait until you see what monstrosities a particular sign company here in Salem hath rot (sic).

I'll try to post some pictures later so you get can get the full effect, but trust me, it's dog-ugly.

One step forward, two steps back. That's the way you do the Salem, Oregon dance into the future.

El Gigante Burrito

I was running late to work this morning and decided to go through the nearest Mexican fast food restaurant (of which there are dozens here in Salem) drive-thru window and order a breakfast taco.

Now in Texas, when you order a breakfast taco, you pay a buck or buck-fifty for a small tortilla with egg and potato, cheese and some kind of breakfast meat.

Oregon does not have breakfast tacos. They have what they call a "breakfast burrito" for right around three bucks. It is like three Texas sized burritos rolled into one and takes two hands to manage eating it.

I don't know. I know I'm supposed to like big things since I'm from Texas, but I've got to tell you, this thing is downright vulgar. I still ate it, even though it was massive.

Still, it's just not the same and is one more thing I miss about Texas.

Dear Governor Perry

Governor Rick Perry
Office of the Governor
P.O. Box 12428
Austin, Texas 78711-2428

4-15-08

Dear Governor Perry,

Thank you for your recent note.

Yes, it has been a long time (4 years to be exact) since my "assignment" as Texas Ambassador to the Pacific Northwest.

Our headquarters up here in the little outpost of Salem, Oregon (population 1 1/2 BBQ joints, 0 Tex-Mex restaurants) is nicely central to the Pacific Northwest area, even if it is a little light on the entertainment side of things. You know (better than anyone) how much a Texan likes his country music, BBQ and Tex-Mex food.

The only places I have been able to find here in Salem for BBQ is a place called "Busters" and another called, "Adam's Rib." They're no County Line BBQ, but about as close as one can probably get up here.

There isn't a single Tex-Mex restaurant in the area. The missus and I frequent a little Mexican food restaurant called Los Dos Amigos on the Yankee side of Salem and a place called La Hacienda in the south. Danged if we didn't order the "spicy" salsa the other night at Los Dos and didn't even work up the slightest sweat.

That seems to be the basic state of Mexican food - and food in general up here - bland as buttermilk. Puttin' your boot in the oven don't make it no danged biscuit and wrapping a tortilla around something and calling it "Mexican Food" ain't going make it so either.

Sorry...enough complaining. Have I mentioned the rain? You didn't mention to me when you "assigned" us here that it rains solid from November through April. I'm not talkin' gully washers either. Just the constant drip, drip, drip of what we would call a "sprinkle" in Texas and what they call "rain" here.

Please send up an ample supply of Gebhardt's chili powder. I haven't had a decent bowl of chili in a month of Sundays.

I look forward to seeing you on my next trip to the "holy land."

Your humble servant,
Randy Hill
Texas Ambassador to the Pacific Northwest
Salem, Oregon Outpost