Dear Governor Perry

Governor Rick Perry
Office of the Governor
P.O. Box 12428
Austin, Texas 78711-2428

4-15-08

Dear Governor Perry,

Thank you for your recent note.

Yes, it has been a long time (4 years to be exact) since my "assignment" as Texas Ambassador to the Pacific Northwest.

Our headquarters up here in the little outpost of Salem, Oregon (population 1 1/2 BBQ joints, 0 Tex-Mex restaurants) is nicely central to the Pacific Northwest area, even if it is a little light on the entertainment side of things. You know (better than anyone) how much a Texan likes his country music, BBQ and Tex-Mex food.

The only places I have been able to find here in Salem for BBQ is a place called "Busters" and another called, "Adam's Rib." They're no County Line BBQ, but about as close as one can probably get up here.

There isn't a single Tex-Mex restaurant in the area. The missus and I frequent a little Mexican food restaurant called Los Dos Amigos on the Yankee side of Salem and a place called La Hacienda in the south. Danged if we didn't order the "spicy" salsa the other night at Los Dos and didn't even work up the slightest sweat.

That seems to be the basic state of Mexican food - and food in general up here - bland as buttermilk. Puttin' your boot in the oven don't make it no danged biscuit and wrapping a tortilla around something and calling it "Mexican Food" ain't going make it so either.

Sorry...enough complaining. Have I mentioned the rain? You didn't mention to me when you "assigned" us here that it rains solid from November through April. I'm not talkin' gully washers either. Just the constant drip, drip, drip of what we would call a "sprinkle" in Texas and what they call "rain" here.

Please send up an ample supply of Gebhardt's chili powder. I haven't had a decent bowl of chili in a month of Sundays.

I look forward to seeing you on my next trip to the "holy land."

Your humble servant,
Randy Hill
Texas Ambassador to the Pacific Northwest
Salem, Oregon Outpost